How much do you hate “Octomom?”

If she’s not buying a ticket for this week’s  Mega Millions lottery, Nadya Suleman should pray for me to win.

If I did win that $290 million, I would gladly take 1% of my winnings and build a house for “Octomom” and her 14 children–not because I agree with her decision to ef around with nature and bring all those kids into the world with no partner to help her feed, house and parent them–but because now that the kids are here, who really wants them to end up homeless?

Nadya and 9 of her 14 children

I will probably receive hate mail for saying it, but I don’t hate Nadya at all. Yeah, so she cost us tax payers a few million dollars. On the list of people to be mad as hell at for the irresponsible decisions they’ve made that are costing me money, believe me, Ms. Suleman is waaaaaaaaay down at the bottom. I’m far too upset about:

$800 billion spent on Afghanistan war
$400 billion spent in Iraq
$1 trillion failed war on drugs
$700 billion bank bailout
$800 billion in tax cuts for the rich

I can’t even fathom the mindset of a person who would camp out in front of Nadya’s house or bust out her car windows to protest her irresponsibility. Please. Camp your ass out at the doors of Haliburton or AIG. Bust out some windows at one of the many million dollar homes of Martin Sullivan or Lloyd Blankfein if you’re deadset on taking your anger out on somebody who makes us pay for their dumb (greedy) choices.

After watching her interview with Oprah, I really do believe Nadya has been dealing with an untreated mental illness that makes her addicted to giving birth–like how people get addicted to tattoos (except birth is a lot more painful…and pretty much impossible to reverse.)

It’s not a great thing to be adding fourteen more to the millions of kids in the world who don’t have a father in their home, but at least these kids are fortunate to have a mother (arguably a tad off her rocker) who loves them. The upside of this whole thing is that Suleman is not a drug addict who sits around eating Dingdongs and watching soaps all day. She’s pretty intelligent and articulate, and she has a degree in child development. Most eye witnesses say she has good parenting skills despite being so outnumbered by her offspring.

(Wouldn’t it just be beautifully ironic if one Sulemon’s kids grows up to cure cancer, or some other disease afflicting the children of the protesters who  despise them all so much?)

For those who can’t get past their hatred of her, I have a suggestion that might help shift your paradigm. Imagine Suleman is a sterile, childless woman who has opened an orphanage and volunteered to care for fourteen adopted children for the rest of her life. You would pin a medal on her.

I would buy her a house.

UPDATE: (1/3/11) I will not be approving any more comments, because to do that I have to read them and I’d rather not expose myself to the profanity, name calling and viciousness.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” -Buddha

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About Kathleen Cross

Kathleen Cross is a writer, educator and speaker who has been a guest on numerous television and radio shows including Oprah, Montel and Dr. Phil. She is the author of two novels, originally published by HarperCollins/Avon,"Skin Deep" and "Schooling Carmen." She blogs at kathleencross.com View all posts by Kathleen Cross

13 responses to “How much do you hate “Octomom?”

  • Jenna

    She has horrible parenting skills. Most eye witnesses think she is a child abuser. Number one clue is that her babies don’t even call her Mommy, or reach their arms towards her. They don’t know who she is, except that she is the crazy lady that only comes around when the cameras are there. You are severely uninformed and it is highly offensive towards mothers that really love their children that you display such ignorance. Don’t blame hate mail on others, blame it on yourself for publicly supporting a known child abuser.

    • kathleencross

      Do you know how fast these kids will be out of her custody when EVEN ONE charge of abuse can be proved against her? Unless you’ve seen it with your own eyes, all opinions are speculation. I would speculate that all of her kids are emotionally neglected (as are thousands of foster and unadopted children in America.) One person trying to parent 14 kids couldn’t possibly be meeting their emotional needs. But legally, physical neglect and abuse are not the same as emotional neglect. You write as if you can prove she’s abusive. But we both know that if you could, she would have lost custody of her children long ago. No one is saying she’s an ideal mother. There is obviously some kind of mental illness there. But, if you took away the children of all of the moms who are on psychotropic meds due to diagnosed mental illness (most of them middle class and married) you couldn’t build enough group homes to house them all. There are millions of children in far more abusive situations than this that the Octomom haters don’t give a damn about. I’m not sure why you all hate her so much. I don’t hate her, but I do feel sorry for her children…

      • BelleStarr

        So, you’re saying that since there are worse cases that the video tapes showing that the babies are suffering from “failure to thrive” should just be overlooked?

        This condition typically occurs in infants and toddlers under the age of 2 years. Failure to thrive can be manifested as significant growth delays, as well as:

        Poor muscle tone;
        Unhappy or minimal facial expressions;
        Decreased vocalizations;
        General unresponsiveness.

        These seem to fit all of the octuplets as well as a few of the existing 6 of Octomaim’s brood.

        Watch the videos and tell me again the babies are being adequately cared for.

      • kathleencross

        You should go rescue a child who has no one to mother it EVER. There are tens of thousands of foster, abandoned and orphaned kids out there who pray every night for someone like you to commit to giving them your love and attention. Unfortunately they aren’t “lucky” enough to look like Nadya’s (white) children, so nobody gives a damn about how emotionally neglected they are in their group homes and orphanages.

        I’ll type it again more slowly…

        I’m
        not
        sure
        why
        you
        all
        hate
        her
        so
        much.

        I don’t hate her, but I do feel sorry for her children…

  • BelleStarr

    Oh, one more thing, her kids are not likely to grow up to be anything but maladjusted adults with probably a few psychopaths thrown in the mix. There will be more taxpayer money for jail and rehab.

    • kathleencross

      Wow. Shame on you for wishing that on those beautiful little babies.

      “Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him.” -Proverbs 26:27
      “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.” -Buddha
      “Every child is potentially the light of the world…” -Abdul’Baha
      “God is the real father; all are his children.” -Baha’u’llah

  • done done done

    kathleen–
    You can always feel free to send her a check. So, who’s stopping you? How much have you actually –not in your daydreams donated to her, anyway? She can use it the way she has all her other donations— to find shoes to match her latest designer bag. And she takes Paypal, too.
    Bet you are way too much of sanctimoniously drivelling coward to put up either of my posts.

    • kathleencross

      I don’t want to give Nadya any money. I just don’t think she and her kids should be homeless. Why are you calling me names? You don’t even know me. I don’t personally know Ms Suleman, nor do I wish to know her. I think she has mental problems that have led to an unfortunate situation for herself and her children. But, they are her children. Until the State says otherwise, she will keep and parent them to whatever degree she is capable. It would be best if that happens in a home big enough to house them all. If the State finds evidence that they should be permanently removed from her care, then it will legally be done. Whether that happens or not, my heart goes out to the kids who could benefit from the generosity of those who hate seeing them suffer (more than they hate her mother). I get that you hate Ms. Suleman and you can hate me by association if you need to. God bless you.

  • Bette

    Katheen, I very much agree with you that the Suleman children deserve our sympathy and assistance. The problem is that Suleman has consistently commandeered any and all donations and the revenue from “media opportunities” that have been sent her way and, rather than using those resources for the benefit of her children, she has squandered them on (obvious) plastic surgery, absurdly expensive clothing and other “lifestyle” luxuries for herself. I think those who have followed this story (and who have seen for themselves just how a low a priority providing for those children are for Nadya Suleman) have become increasingly angry at her for good reason. The testimony elicited at her physician’s hearing proved the PR version of her story to be a blatant lie and strongly suggests that she intentionally implanted 12 fresh embryos for the purpose of gestating a high order multiple birth. And, shockingly, it was revealed in that hearing that she currently has 29 frozen embryos remaining in cryo-storage at her disposal should she choose to use them. Credible speculation is that she demanded the implantation of the 12 fresh embryos specifically in the hopes of obtaining a reality show and the fame and money that go with it. Tabloids have done an effective job of documenting her irresponsible use of her limited resources and I think what you perceive as hatred is, in fact, a justified anger that no one seems to be able to stop this woman from doing harm to those children. My own opinion is that people feel, not hatred, but angry and helplessness at a system that would remove 14 dogs from this woman’s care yet leaves 14 vulnerable human children under her control for her to use for financial gain, no matter how much psychological damage she does to them in the process. Best wishes. Bette

    • kathleencross

      Thank you, Bette, for your very well-stated and heartfelt reply. You said what others were trying to convey, but without the name-calling and vitriol. I really feel like the solution here (while Nadya is their legal guardian) can only be to add more love to her household. The anger and vicious hatred does not serve those children at all. Nadya does have volunteers who come in to try to provide more of the love and attention she is not ever going to be able to give her children (something she admitted finally on Oprah) but due to the death threats and public outcry, volunteers are understandably hesitant to get involved (You should see the very hateful comments I’ve received that I cannot approve because they are so vicious). We all agree Nadya’s not operating at full capacity mentally. Her decision to implant ANY number of embryos after she already had six fatherless children at home shows that clearly. I couldn’t last a day in her household. Eight 2-year-olds?? I can’t even imagine what that must be like. I stand by my statement that I would build a home for her and her children (as well as some extra rooms for live-in nannys) because the kids did not ask for this life they’re living, and I would hate to see them all crammed into an apartment. Each of those babies has a purpose in this life, and their circumstances do not doom them to becoming psychopaths as one commenter insists. The more love that can be added to that household…the better the children will fare. I know many are holding out hope that Nadya will lose custody, but that doesn’t seem likely at this point. There needs to be a plan B (taking the kids from her being their plan A) in the hearts of those who are so angry…perhaps praying that Nadya heals mentally and emotionally and matures as a woman and a parent might be a good place to start. With God all things are possible.

  • kathleencross

    Here are links to two videos a reader left in the comments. I am posting the links, but I will not be approving any more comments, because to do that I have to read them and I’d rather not expose myself to the cursing, name calling and nastiness.

    “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” -Buddha

    http://rtl-now.rtl.de/extrakompakt.php?player=1&play_last=1

  • sernaraquel

    I know you’re not approving any comments, but Kuddos on this one. I like your take on it and love the controversy it stirs. Hate mail is awesome. It means you stirred something up deep within someone. Keep up the good work.

    • kathleencross

      Glad I took a peek at this one. I decided I needed at least one positive comment on the board, so I included yours. Thank you.

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