Author Archives: Kathleen Cross

About Kathleen Cross

Kathleen Cross is a writer, educator and speaker who has been a guest on numerous television and radio shows including Oprah, Montel and Dr. Phil. She is the author of two novels, originally published by HarperCollins/Avon,"Skin Deep" and "Schooling Carmen." She blogs at kathleencross.com

This Blog Has Permanently Moved to a New Home…


Real Good Gossip has been moved to it’s new home at KathleenCross.com


Are Will and Jada pimping the mini-mes?

How stupid unobservant am I? (Rhetorical question. Don’t answer that.) Um, yeah, so I just (like, just this minute while writing this piece) figured out that Jaden and Willow smith’s given names are tributes to their parents. Will/Willow. Jaden/Jada.

Duh.

Okay. I know. It’s pretty damn obvious. But, whatever. I feel a wee bit smarter now that I figured that out.

:/

(Anyone out there who didn’t get the Smith’s naming strategy until just now, please do leave a comment admitting it–it’ll help soothe my bruised ego.)

Anywaaaay, I said all that to introduce the fact that Jaden and Willow were both nominated for this year’s NAACP Image Awards–Jaden, for his starring role in the remake of The Karate Kid, and Willow for her hit single, Whip My Hair.

For these two cuties to have been raised by “Hollywood” parents with a combined net worth somewhere in the quarter of a billion dollar range, they seem relatively grounded and down-to-earth. (Though I do think Willow has the potential to get full of herself if her mama doesn’t rein in her little ego right quick.) Love you, Willow…but I’m just sayin’.

Jada and Will have gotten quite a bit of Internet flack recently for supposedly “pimping” their kids, and “depriving them of their childhoods,” but I don’t see any evidence of that here at all. These little Smiths are truly talented, and they seem to really love what they’re doing. And, why wouldn’t they? Though they do have to work hard and put in long hours to achieve the success they’ve enjoyed so far, they also have that huge and powerful SMITH MACHINE behind them, which has to make the whole experience that much sweeter.

Though they barely have 20 years on earth between them, both Smith kids seem to “get it” that they are privileged to have the parents they do, and they understand that most of the world doesn’t have they advantages they were born with. Their parents have done an excellent job of instilling this in them from a young age–not just by setting an example of what philanthropy and concern for community look like in action, but also by encouraging their children to become actively involved in charitable causes themselves.

Jaden and Willow have lent their names, images and time to Project Zambi, which supports children orphaned by AIDS in Africa,and Buy Life which provides medicine, food and shelter to millions of people affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa and India.

If you’re wondering what the criteria for winning an NAACP Image Award are, read on:

1. Fair, Accurate, and Inclusive Representations Rather than portraying people of color in broad stereotypes, the project deals with the characters or themes in a fair, accurate, and multi-dimensional manner. Inclusive means that a broad spectrum of people of color is represented. This includes economic, geographic, and political diversity, as well as seniors, differently abled, youth, families, etc.
2. Boldness and Originality The project breaks new ground by exploring subject matter relevant to people of color in a way not traditionally explored, and handles the content in a fresh and original manner. Is this project “cutting-edge?”
3. Impact The project impacts society in a significant way. Does this project dramatically increase the cultural dialogue about issues that pertain to people of color? Or, does this project reach an idea that is not regularly exposed with regard to images and issues pertaining to people of color?
4. Overall Quality The overall quality of the project should be considered. A project which is of high quality production value adds impact, significance, and weight to the images and issues portrayed.

If my little daughter wanted to put a poster of either or both of these kids up on her bedroom wall, I would allow it. I think they stand for something positive, and so far their images are definitely uplifting and admirable.

I hope they both win.

 


The intern who saved Rep. Giffords’ life is gay, Mexican and naturalized?

An insane (and insanely armed) white guy shoots Arizona’s first Jewish Congresswoman and the man who is credited with helping to save her life  is an openly gay, naturalized American citizen of Mexican descent. (You’re awesome, Daniel.)

This 20-year-old hero heard automatic gunfire and ran towards the shots to help the victims with no thought for his own safety. Thank God Daniel Hernández was there, and that he knew what to do to help keep Gabrielle Giffords alive.

I know I’m not the only one who finds it rather ironic that this occurred in the first U.S. state to pass a law that would allow officers on the scene to detain Daniel and make him prove he was in the country legally (under threat of arrest and deportation) simply because of his surname and appearance.

This is the same state that has no law preventing an undiagnosed but deranged white guy from purchasing, carrying and concealing a semi-automatick Glock and extended ammo cartridges.

Things that make you go, “Hmmm.”


I socked my 3-year old daughter in the eye: Janet Jackson made me do it

My three-year-old is a handful. She has more energy than any toddler I’ve ever seen. Sometimes she just runs around in circles in the living room trying to use up what seems to be a never ending store of kinetic abundance.

The day I socked her in the eye (did I mention that I socked her really hard?), I had repeatedly asked her to settle down, and finally, in an attempt to bring the zany level in the house down to a calmer tone, I sat her down on the couch and told her if she patiently waited her turn, she would get a chance to play the new Xbox Kinect Dance Central game we adults were playing with.

If you haven’t seen the Xbox Kinect in action, you have to get to your local gaming outlet and sample the awesomeness of it. Now, I remember when that Pong video game came out back in the 70’s, so maybe I’m a little more enraptured then you genXers will be by this technology, but I am so in awe of the fact that this gadget requires no controllers — it knows where you are in the room and has the ability to accurately critique and improve your dancing skills (yes, it does).

To keep it real, let me just admit that all the technological advancement in the world isn’t going to teach me how to dougie, and I majorly sucked at the Soulja boy Supaman dance, but the youngins couldn’t touch me on the Commodores “Brick House” and I was just getting ready to kill Janet Jackson’s “Control,” when Jadyn got a little too enthusiastic about mommy’s performance, hopped off the couch and collided with an especially energetic move called “the ticker.”

At the 43 second mark check out that potentially lethal “ticker” move and you’ll know why Jadyn is lucky mommy didn’t  knock her unconscious. (Note: that is not me dancing in this clip.)

If you want to see what it actually looks like for a kid to get royally clocked by their parent while playing with the Xbox Kinect, check out this shocking video:

Despite the hard lesson Jadyn and I learned together about space management and the presence of toddlers during a Kinect session (please, do feel free to learn from our mistake), I HIGHLY recommend this game. It is really a lot of fun to play with, it burns hundreds of calories an hour, and believe me when I tell you you will use muscles you didn’t know you had.

If every household in America had one of these, Michele Obama could consider the obesity problem among children in this country permanently eradicated. (Just be careful not to knock them silly in the process.)

Just a few of the many games you can purchase for use with the Xbox Kinect:


Blind, brain damaged 8-year-old lifts football linebacker

Rudy Favard, 17, carries Sammy Parker, 8. (Essdras M Suarez/Globe Staff)

“Can I ask you something?’’ he said, sitting in the Parkers’ living room after Sammy was asleep.

“Is it OK if this article is more about Sam than me?’’

Why?

“He’s done more for me than I’ve done for him.”

Rudy Favard is a busy teenager–a high school senior who is also the captain of  the football team. During a trip to the school nurse’s office, Rudy learned of a family in his local community who needed help. The father of the struggling Parker family had recently undergone heart surgery and was no longer able to carry his 8-year-old son Sammy, who suffers from cerebral palsy, up the 14 steps to his bedroom each night. They couldn’t afford to pay for a caregiver.

Rudy immediately volunteered to visit the Parker’s home four nights a week to help put Sammy to bed.

Don’t miss Yvonne Abraham’s Boston Globe article about Rudy and his impact on this family (and their impact on him).  There are many more incredible layers to this touching story. Sammy has a twin (who does not have cerebral palsy) who deeply loves his afflicted brother.

This is one of those stories that shows us what love in action looks like–really makes you think about how a tragedy is an opportunity to serve.

Don’t watch this video without a box of tissue nearby.

CLICK TO VIEW VIDEO


Oprah, Kathleen and Heavy D: we got our OWN thang

O, the wonders of photoshop

So, yesterday Oprah was talking to me (like she does several times a week). I was a little preoccupied with something on my laptop, but when I finally looked up at her she looked me right in my eyes (to make sure I was really paying attention, I suppose) and she said,

“Here we are, this is our day. This is our moment.”

She was talking about our new OWN network, of course–you know, the one we launched on January 1st.  She insisted to me that (even though her name is the only one on the logo) it really is OUR network, and darn it, I believe her.

I know she said the same thing to you, I mean, I’m not crazy. I know she wasn’t talking only to me when she said this network is for us, but I must say that so far the programming choices come pretty close to exactly what I would love to see on television. I especially love the show called Master Class.  <click to see the promo if you haven’t seen the show yet–it’s (in Oprah’s voice) really good.

I won’t list the complete schedule, but in addition to Master Class I’m super geeked about these shows: (OWN’s descriptions)

The Miracle Detectives: Do miracles really exist? Or is there a logical explanation to the seemingly inexplicable? Two investigators; one a believer, the other a scientist will travel the globe to uncover answers to mysterious incidents that transcend logic

Mystery Diagnosis: Every year, millions of Americans fall victim to real-life medical mysteries—ailments that go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years. Their lives are thrown into turmoil—sometimes their sanity is called into question

Searching For: Viewers can expect an intensely personal ride when cameras follow Pam Slaton, a professional investigative genealogist, and her clients through each step as they track down lost loved ones.  Whether Pam’s clients find a joyous reunion, painful rejection or tragic loss, they all walk away with the closure they were desperate to find. (Pam has an 85 percent success rate, follows a strict “no find, no pay” policy, and is one of the most sought-after professional searchers in the country.)

The Gayle King Show: Start your day off right with Oprah’s best friend and O Magazine Editor-at-Large Gayle King, as her hit radio show comes to television every weekday on OWN. Gayle’s live talk show will offer her unique perspective on an array of topics ranging from current events and cultural trends to politics and more, all while bringing viewers closer to their favorite celebrities and notable public figures with her revealing, compelling daily interviews.

I love Gayle. I think she’s really down-to-earth for someone who is the best friend of one of the most powerful women in the world. (Sorry, I digress.)

Anyway, by now you’re wondering, what the heck does Heavy D have to do with any of this? Well, ever since Oprah started talking to me about this OWN thing… Heavy’s “diddly diddly diddly dee” has been stuck in my head. I know I can’t be the only one who mentally plays the song when the OWN network promos come on.

“We Got Our Own Thang” by Heavy D and the Boyz <listen to a snippet.

Although not all the lyrics in the song are going to be to Oprah’s liking (you know how she is about hip hop), this part of the song is perfect for what OWN is all about:

“In this life, I strive for improvement
Be your own guide, follow your own movement
Loving is a legend
Me, I’m legendary at it…

Stay self-managed, self-kept, self-taught
Be your own man, don’t be borrowed, don’t be bought
Started with a pow and I’m going to end it with a bang
We’ve got our own thang
We’ve got our own thang”

How is that not the theme song playing on the OWN promo?
Maybe Will.i.am and Heav could do a remix for you…
Oprah, it is our network, right?

?

🙂


How much do you hate “Octomom?”

If she’s not buying a ticket for this week’s  Mega Millions lottery, Nadya Suleman should pray for me to win.

If I did win that $290 million, I would gladly take 1% of my winnings and build a house for “Octomom” and her 14 children–not because I agree with her decision to ef around with nature and bring all those kids into the world with no partner to help her feed, house and parent them–but because now that the kids are here, who really wants them to end up homeless?

Nadya and 9 of her 14 children

I will probably receive hate mail for saying it, but I don’t hate Nadya at all. Yeah, so she cost us tax payers a few million dollars. On the list of people to be mad as hell at for the irresponsible decisions they’ve made that are costing me money, believe me, Ms. Suleman is waaaaaaaaay down at the bottom. I’m far too upset about:

$800 billion spent on Afghanistan war
$400 billion spent in Iraq
$1 trillion failed war on drugs
$700 billion bank bailout
$800 billion in tax cuts for the rich

I can’t even fathom the mindset of a person who would camp out in front of Nadya’s house or bust out her car windows to protest her irresponsibility. Please. Camp your ass out at the doors of Haliburton or AIG. Bust out some windows at one of the many million dollar homes of Martin Sullivan or Lloyd Blankfein if you’re deadset on taking your anger out on somebody who makes us pay for their dumb (greedy) choices.

After watching her interview with Oprah, I really do believe Nadya has been dealing with an untreated mental illness that makes her addicted to giving birth–like how people get addicted to tattoos (except birth is a lot more painful…and pretty much impossible to reverse.)

It’s not a great thing to be adding fourteen more to the millions of kids in the world who don’t have a father in their home, but at least these kids are fortunate to have a mother (arguably a tad off her rocker) who loves them. The upside of this whole thing is that Suleman is not a drug addict who sits around eating Dingdongs and watching soaps all day. She’s pretty intelligent and articulate, and she has a degree in child development. Most eye witnesses say she has good parenting skills despite being so outnumbered by her offspring.

(Wouldn’t it just be beautifully ironic if one Sulemon’s kids grows up to cure cancer, or some other disease afflicting the children of the protesters who  despise them all so much?)

For those who can’t get past their hatred of her, I have a suggestion that might help shift your paradigm. Imagine Suleman is a sterile, childless woman who has opened an orphanage and volunteered to care for fourteen adopted children for the rest of her life. You would pin a medal on her.

I would buy her a house.

UPDATE: (1/3/11) I will not be approving any more comments, because to do that I have to read them and I’d rather not expose myself to the profanity, name calling and viciousness.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” -Buddha


Angry, pig-killing celebrity addicts

What do actor Rainn Wilson, Questo of The Roots, Justin Bieber, Jordin Sparks, Slash and British Prime Minister David Cameron all have in common?

They have all admitted publicly to being addicted to Angry Birds, a cell phone application created by RovioMobile that boasts millions of players all over the world. And, they aren’t the only celebs who have caught the bird fever. Add to the list of stars we know for sure love the game: skater Tony Hawk, celebrated author Salman Rushdie, rocker Pete Wentz and Glee star Cory Monteith.

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If you have somehow missed out on the Angry Birds phenomenon and have no clue what I’m talking about, here is a YouTube promo that will give you an idea of how the game is played.

Doesn’t really look all that addictive when you’re just watching a video, does it?  Well, I have three stars on every level of the android version of the game, and I just discovered there is a holiday edition (Thank you @Questlove ) which I am about to kill when I’m finished here.

Trust me when I tell you this game is very addictive. Do not download it unless you want to have a lot of fun (and frustration). Consider yourself warned…

(I shall stop typing now and go slaughter some little green pig heads.)


Sofia Vergara’s heart is bigger than her…well, everything else

One big drawback to being as friggin’ drop dead ridiculously gorgeous and sexy as Sofia Vergara–It’s pretty impossible for people to see (or bother looking for) your spiritual assets when your physical ones are so distracting.

If you’ve watched the Emmy-award winning ABC show “Modern Family,” you already know. Sofia’s character Gloria is a scene-stealer whose thick Columbian accent seems almost too thick to be true–along with some other thick things that Sofia was actually born with. (She wanted a breast reduction, but her mom talked her out of it, saying, “God is going to punish you if you cut them.”)

Before she was discovered on a beach in Columbia and fast-tracked to modeling gigs and a Pepsi ad, Sofia was a catholic school girl (no, really) who more than anything wanted to be a dentist. Please. Can you imagine how popular her dental practice would have been? She abandoned her dentistry dreams to take her first television hosting job–but only after consulting with the nuns in her hometown school who told her to go for it.

Beauty has not shielded Vergara from life’s tragedies. In 1998 her brother Rafael was murdered by kidnappers in Bogota, Columbia and two years after his death Sofia was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, which she was able to beat with radiation and surgery. About her cancer battle she said,

“When you go through something like this, it’s hard, but you learn a lot from it. Your priorities change. You don’t sweat the small stuff. “

The experience led her to create Peace and Hope for the Children of Colombia, a charitable organization that has served thousands of needy children in her home country.

“Through the charity I sponsor, we’re building a cancer center in my hometown of Barranquilla. I visited the cancer ward of a hospital in Colombia, and parents were just sitting on the floor while their kids were being treated.”

Sofia also launched a clothing line called Vergara by Sofia,  a socially-conscious brand generating over 1,500 jobs in her native country.

This fall Vergara joined Gloria Estefan, Placido Domingo, Enrique Iglesias and other Latin stars to  record the  song and video “La Gota de la Vida” to raise money for bone marrow donation awareness.

That’s right. In addition to everything else she’s abundantly blessed with…her singing voice is pretty too.


Mike Vick and I have something in common

First things first, let me confess that as it relates to discussing Michael Vick’s crimes against animals I cannot be considered unbiased. I have an 8-year-old pit bull who has been with our family since he was two months old and the thought of Baloo, or any other dog, being tossed in a fighting ring to win or die trying is beyond disgusting–it is just plain evil.

Having said that, let me also confess that I am an avid fisher-woman. There are few activities that bring me more peace of mind, excitement or satisfaction than sitting on a boat from sunup to sundown casting my bait and fighting those fish who are desperately trying not to end up on my plate. The bumpersticker “I’d rather be fishing” was created with me in mind.

There are some members of PETA who will call that just plain evil.

Now, if you think I’m equating dog fighting with fishing, I’m not. I don’t think they’re the same–not even close. Dog fighting is about violence, ego and money. Fishing is about… Um, well, hmm… many people do fish for food.

:-/

No, for real. The creator obviously intended for fish to be eaten by other animals. Am I not one of many predators who kill fish for food? (And, I bet grizzly bear claws  cause the fish a whole lot more suffering than my little hook.) Besides, I never catch more fish than I will feed to my family, and I do not catch and release. Once I’ve caught enough fish to eat (or to give away to friends or family who will eat it) I quit fishing. Just between us, when I’m impaling a worm or bait fish on my hook I apologize to it, and once I’ve landed a fish and got it into the boat, someone else has to kill it for me because I can’t bring myself to do it. (I have no problem, however, rolling it in some cornmeal and frying it up afterwards).

All of that “justifying” my violence against fish is the result of a little voice in my head that doesn’t want to feel bad about making the fish suffer–it’s called “empathy.”

EMPATHY : “Understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.”

Most humans have empathy for other humans, and many have it for animals, but empathy is an easy thing to lose when you are desensitized to violence from a very young age. I can remember being taken fishing when I was a small child and refusing to participate because to me it looked like they were torturing defenseless creatures. Over the years, the more I witnessed the adults around me doing it, and the more I saw the benefits of catching fish, the more desensitized I became–until I eventually grew to love the sport myself.

I will never understand how a person could get pleasure from electrocuting an animal or how they could throw their family dog into the fighting ring and laugh as their pet suffers (which Vick reportedly did), but I can understand how over years of being exposed to that kind of violence, your empathy voice might get silenced until you just don’t hear it anymore. It appears that after years of exposure to violence against dogs being perpetrated by people Mike loved and admired,  he not only shut the voice off, he developed an appetite for the violence himself.

Michael Vick is now an ex-convict who served time for torturing dogs, and he is using his experience to prevent other young people from going down that same violent road.

“God sent me to the bottom. And I’m a firm believer in karma, and I think it happened because of what I did and what I allowed to happen to those animals, so I was stripped of everything, stripped me down to the bone of everything and, you know, I think I took for granted the position that I was in in my life, all the blessings that I had, and that wasn’t my purpose in life to be doing what I was doing and it was wrong,” -Michael Vick

There are thousands of little boys out there right now who have been taught that dog fighting is a sport. They have never had a high profile “role model” tell them otherwise. Now they do.

Unless you’ve been hiding from television and Internet news for the last 24 hours, you have probably heard that President Obama recently called the Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie, and praised him for giving Michael Vick a chance to revive the career he lost when he was thrown in jail for operating a dog-fighting ring. Obama said the Eagles giving Michael Vick a second chance was important for society.

I agree.

Obama’s  message gives hope to ex-convicts who want to work and become productive members of society, and it also uplifts a high profile spokesperson against cruelty to animals to whom kids will pay attention.

I believe thousands fewer dogs will suffer as a result of what Michael Vick is now doing. How could that be bad?

By the way, I really would appreciate
any arguments you all have
for or against fishing.
After writing this piece,
I think I’m on the fence.


Teena Marie’s last words were wishes

It is beyond tragic that Teena Marie, who at age 54 had so much more living to do, died in her sleep on Christmas night–the very same night her only child, Alia Rose, turned 19.

Alia and Teena, Summer 2010

Teena’s last words via Twitter just a few hours before she died were Christmas wishes for you and your family, a thank you to Jesus Christ for being born, a happy birthday message to her daughter, a tribute to singer Sarah Vaughan, and one wish for herself:

Your last wish on earth has been lovingly granted by your family friends and fans all over the world–You will never die, Ms. Teena. Your music, your legendary love of life and your open heart and soul will live forever.

“I’ve been called Casper, Shorty, Lil’ Bit
And some they call me Vanilla Child

But you know that don’t mean my world to me
’cause baby, names can’t cramp my style…

…That’s what I’m talking, baby
Square , Square Biz” -Teena Marie

Tyler Perry’s extreme makeover…burned home edition

I know he’s now an entertainment mogul who can hang up the granny dress for good if he chooses, but it is still pretty difficult to think of Tyler Perry and not think of the extreme makeover he undergoes to portray grandma Madea–a makeover that led to him becoming very, very rich.

Two days before Christmas Mr. Perry used some of that money he’s earned to help a real-life grandmother rebuild the home she’s lived in for forty years after it burned to the ground. 88-year-old Rosa Lee Ransby and the seven great-grandchildren she is raising by herself escaped injury but were left homeless by the tragedy. The local fire chief asked the Coweta, GA community for donations to assist the family, and within hours Tyler, who lives in nearby Atlanta, came to the rescue in a major way.

Not only is Mr. Perry paying for Ms. Ransby’s home to be reconstructed, he has rented a home nearby for her and her family to live in until their new home is finished, which will be sometime next year. Tyler will fill the home with new furniture as well.

It is a time like this that must make being a several hundred millionaire feel pretty amazing.

Click the link below to view a video of the 88-year-old woman, her great-grandchildren and the local fire chief who said the gesture made his Christmas. “I’ve been doing this a long time – seen a lot of bad things come and go – but this is special.”

http://www.wsbtv.com/video/26267362/index.html